God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Monday, June 7, 2010

From some of my reading this morning...

In the AA book Living Sober (1), copy right 1975, 1998...

     "Anger in all its aspects is a universal human problem.  But it poses a special threat to alcoholics: Our own anger can kill us.  Recovered alcoholics almost unanimously agree that hostility, grudges, or resentments often make us want to drink, so we need to be vigilant against such feelings.  We have found much more satisfying ways than drinking for dealing with them.
     But we'll get to those later.  First, here is a look at some of the shapes and colors anger seems at time to arrive in:

  • intolerance
  • contempt
  • envy
  • hatred
  • snobbishness
  • rigidity
  • cynicism
  • discontent
  • tension
  • sarcasm
  • self-pity
  • malice
  • distrust
  • anxiety
  • suspicion
  • jealousy..."
I learned in treatment that anger is actually a secondary emotion, usually rooted in a primary emotion where we might actually feel hurt, afraid, attacked, offended, disrespected, forced, trapped, or pressured.  So if anger is secondary, then the list from Living Sober would actually become tertiary (in the third order.)  So when we feel these things, although anger may be the root, it is most likely pain, fear or some other primary emotion at the core.  (I googled secondary and tertiary emotions, and they have indeed seem to have been classified this way...)  I italicized some of the ones that I found more interesting, and probably would not have attributed to anger...

From Keep It Simple - June 7th -
     "We can't afford to hold grudges.  We have all felt hurt by others at times.  But when we stay angry at another person, it hurts us. It keeps our wounds open.  It takes our energy away from our healing.
     We can forgive now.  We know that living our program of honesty and love makes us safe.  We don't have to be afraid.  We don't have to be angry. We don't have to let old hurts stand in our way.  We let them go.  We empty the anger from our hearts to clear the way for love."

Nicely coupled with the meditation for the day from Twenty-Four Hours A Day -
     "You not only can live a new life but you also can grow in grace and power and beauty.  Reach ever forward and upward after the things of the spirit.  In the animal world, the very form of an animal changes to enable it to reach that upon which it delights to feed.  Your whole character changes as you reach upward for the things of the spirit - for beauty, for love, for honesty, for purity, and for unselfishness.  Reaching after these things of the spirit, your whole nature becomes so changed so that you can best receive and delight in the wonders of the abundant life."
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(1) Sober Living, AA, copy right 1975, 1998.
(2) Keep It Simple Hazelden Meditations, copyright 1989 - June 7th -
(3) Twenty-Four Hours A Day Hazelden Meditations, copyright 1954, 1975, 1992-

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